From the store front
After being asked many questions about winter living in Alaska, the visitor finally asks, “Do you get hot water?”

Confused, the staff member asks, “Do you mean natural hot springs?”

The visitor replies, “No, I mean for showers and doing dishes.”

False front illusion
A visitor was overheard stating why she would not go into the AB Hall visitor center. “I was afraid to go in. It was built with little sticks.”

From the expedition prep shop
A cruise ship guest just walked into our expedition prep shop, which is filled with trekking poles, creepers, kayak paddles, back packs, coolers and other assorted back-country gear. The young woman initially did not respond to our friendly greeting (“Hey there, how can we help you”). She just stared at us. Looking around at the group of four guides. She took a few seconds to look each of us over. After she had sized up the four fresh-from-the-field male wilderness guides in the office (three of which have short hair), she turned to the only one of us with long hair and asked “Where, in Skagway, can I get hair extensions?”

She was disappointed when none of us could answer her question. She then asked for directions to the supermarket, turned on her heel and exited the building without a word, as I was literally in the middle of a sentence giving her directions. No “thank you.” No turning back. After suffering the disappointment of us not knowing where to get hair extensions, she was suddenly on a mission to find the grocery store with only half the directions to get there.

From the SMART bus
A Texan tells his shuttle driver they are celebrating their 45th wedding anniversary.

SMART driver says, “Wow, that’s great! You bring your wife all the way to Alaska to celebrate your 45th. What you going to do for your 50th?”

The man says, “Well, I’m going to come back and get her…”

Hardy har har, y’all. If they only knew that those shuttles make wedding runs to Dyea till 4 in the morning… The summer daze is upon us, but wind still matters. Send it to the windy one by the usual means: bookstore or email or a whisper in the ear. You could win a free book from us!