• After a shoplifter stole an item from a store, the owner identified him on video surveillance and then stomped down Broadway, determined to find him.
As she passed a jewelry store, quickly peering in to see if the thief was in there, one of the door solicitors said to her, “We have what your’e looking for in here.”
“Oh yeah, you got a shoplifter in there?” she replied, all matter of fact.
The doorman paused and then said, in all seriousness, “Maybe.”
• A man on a guided hike in the Laughton Glacier valley asked, “Can you see the light thingies better in Skagway or Ketchikan?”
“What light thingies?” the guide asked.
“Oh, you know, the blue wavy things in the sky at night.”
After explaining that those were the northern lights, the guide then led them onto the glacier. There were 16 in the group.
The man piped up, “I wonder if we are doing the glacier any harm.”
• A member of a group swimming in Smuggler’s Cove commented, “I want to get a shirt in town that says ‘I swam in Smuggler’s Cove!’ I bet everyone in town already has one.”
• A guy waiting for a ride from the people-mover carts on the dock was fed up waving away black flies, and finally exclaimed, “What are all these tse-tse flies doing around here?”
• A man was surveying all the businesses on Broadway and said, “Diamonds, diamonds, gold, bar, diamonds, gold, gold, bar,” as he nodded to each one, referencing the various jewelry and drinking establishments.
He then looked at his wife and smirked, “Honey, this sounds like your kind of town.”
OK gang, I know what you’re thinking: Only a month to go till party time! But, and this is sage advice, you have to get through that month, no matter what it takes. Chin up, smile at the ready, and, most importantly, an ear to the wind. The windy one is counting on you to deliver. And I have great news, fellow wind ambassadors. We are coming out with the second volume of Best of the Skagway Police Blotter next spring and “Heard on the Wind” items will be breaking up the sections. It’s a true Skagway harmonic convergence that is guaranteed to please everyone. So get that wind in soon, and it just might make the book! As always, you will be entered in a free drawing at Skaguay News Depot & Books.