Seeking ‘authentic’ Alaskan souvenirs

The editor of this fine sheet was in a little boutique and heard a woman searching for “bear teeth.”

“I promised my grandson that I would bring back bear teeth!” she said.

The store clerk said they didn’t have any, and the woman’s friend said, “You just might have to make some out of FEMO clay. He’ll never know the difference.”

The astute editor suggested they look for some moose turd jewelry instead.

‘Iceberg, straight ahead!’

A visitor asked a local woman where the Titanic accident occurred.

When told the shipwreck occurred on the Atlantic Ocean, the visitor replied, “So that didn’t happen around here, then.”

An unexpected sight

While guiding a tour up to dog camp, the group stopped at the overlook above Dyea valley, where they could see the Ruby Princess from the mountain. A woman was puzzled when the guide talked about the low tide.

“The water level drops that fast?” she asked.

“Yes, every three hours.”

“Wow, there’s a ship over there!”

“Yes, that’s actually your ship.”

“But how did they get the ship into the lake?!?”

Home on the range

Another visitor commented that they had heard about Dawson City in an episode of Gunsmoke.

Oh the humanity

An adventure guide manager was on the phone to someone, describing their kayak tours. The client wanted to have his whole family sign up for a kayaking adventure.

However, they have some younger children and there is a strict minimum age of 9 on all their tours.

This was their response:

“We have a baby which will be in our backpack. Would it be considered a person?”

The guide manager had to respond that, “Yes, your baby is considered a person. Plus, in the event of a capsize, the backpack might snag, preventing you from exiting the kayak, making that a very dangerous situation.”

Indeed, the wind blows a little harder as we enter mid-season form. Wind with a hint of risk and danger here in the wilds of the north. It makes the windy one excited to go paddling. Congrats to James Noland, this month’s winner of our monthly windy drawing for a copy of Best of the Skagway Police Blotter Vol. 2. May the wind be with you. Please drop your submissions at the bookstore or email the windy one at